It has been a long time since I've chimed in, but that should change soon. We've embarked upon my favorite season on the sports calendar. It is college hoops time. And since I failed to put together a preseason picks posting, I will now attempt to create a power rankings system that pulls all these teams together and tries to make some sense of what we know about them right now. Rather than putting them in 1-25 order, I will categorize them with how far I think we will see them go in March. If teams aren't mentioned, assume that I haven't seen them enough to formulate an opinion.
Headed For Tournament Disaster:
Pac-10 schools. ALL of them. This conference is so bad that they won't even test each other during the entire season. Basically, they've all had their tests already with all the out of conference games. I think Washington, Cal and another random team will get into the dance, and one of them will advance to the 2nd round. This is worse than the SEC last season.
Clemson. Another soft non-conference schedule. Will probably be athletic enough to post 9-11 ACC wins. But not a good basketball team.
Louisville. Chaotic. No identity whatsoever. Perhaps with a full season under their belt they can come together in March, but I don't see anybody really stepping up on this particular squad.
Georgetown. Seriously? 13th in the nation? Greg Monroe appears to have made the leap to all around player, but if he isn't going to step up and score 20-24 PPG, then nobody else on that team is going to do it either.
Bracket Busters
VCU. They'll do it again this year. Larry Sanders is just that good, and they have the intangibles. CAA always good for an upset, and this year it'll be the Rams.
Mississippi State. This team has been a mess and it could take them the entire season to get back into the selection committee's good graces. But I suspect that they'll be on your bracket once you print it out, and don't sleep on their athleticism. Not sure what there is to like, but something is there.
2nd Weekend
North Carolina. This team should reach the 2nd weekend of the Tournament. But they will lose the first game they play on that weekend. Sweet 16 seems to be the limit for the Heels this year, as their guard play is just far too weak to make any kind of significant March run. The rest of the team is tremendous, but you can't have Larry Drew and Will Graves as your starting guards and expect to contend for a title.
Tennessee. Show me some solid decision making, please. This team is loaded with experience, but the problem is that they have the experience of being on Tennessee. Their one loss featured the worst late-game clock management I've seen this season. By far. And that happens each year with this squad.
Duke. They might make the Elite 8 this year. They might not. But this year is no different than the last few years for Duke. They have a team capable of slaughtering inferior teams. But when put to the test, the personnel just doesn't seem to have what it takes to make a deep run. They'll need a good draw to make noise.
Michigan State. You know what, I thought they were the best team coming back. But I've watched them lose 2 games already this year -- and I came away from those games completely underwhelmed. I expect them to bounce back and improve, but right now there are just too many teams that are better than the Spartans.
INDY ON THEIR MIND
Connecticut. Scary athletes. They should reach the Sweet 16 based on that alone, but I'm not sure they'll go much further without the ability to hit 3's. But their inside presence and backcourt are far too good to discount from a possible run to Indianapolis. Certainly better than the teams I've already listed.
Ohio State. If Evan Turner didn't get hurt, I'd have them in the next section. I love what he does on the court. Tremendous player who probably would have been the national player of the year if he didn't break his back. They seem confident that he'll return in time to make a run, so for now I'll trust that assessment and say that with him, they can win enough games to threaten to crash the Indianapolis party. Without him, though? They're a 7 seed that would get upset by an upstart mid major.
Villanova. I've watched them play and have come away unimpressed. But they're still really good. Any stable of guards like that can push a team into the national semis, as we saw last year with this team. But the lack of an inside presence prevents me from moving them into the next level.
Syracuse. I know this section is heavy on the Big East -- and one of them is likely to end up in Indianapolis. I want to say that this is the team that will get there, I really do. But you just simply cannot be this poor from the free throw line and win games in March against other good teams. They look like the most well-rounded team in the conference right now, and they might look that way in March, too. But I just see them shooting themselves in the foot from the charity stripe before they're able to officially punch their ticket to Indy.
INDY-BOUND
Kentucky. This team is essentially a playground squad. Incredible athleticism with a rabid fan base and a coach that might be able to guide them in the right direction. I'm slightly concerned that they had a 28-2 run at home against UNC and still only won by 2 points. They showed me something vs Connecticut at MSG, rallying from a late deficit to put the game away. Just roll the ball out there and watch them go. But trust me on this one... Kansas would DESTROY this team right now.
Purdue. I think these guys might pull it together and do what Michigan State did last year. I love their cohesiveness. They are understated enough that they won't be in a spotlight all season long. Nobody will take them too seriously, but they'll just keep playing, learning and gelling. They'll take a couple key losses in conference play, knocking them down a peg each time -- but come tournament time they'll have the experience and versatility to make this run.
Texas. Honestly, I have not seen too much of this team yet this year. But I saw plenty last season and I love what I see. James is a stud. Just the perfect type of leader for a team to have when trying to make a title run. They'll need the freshman stud Bradley to start playing better, but I expect that to happen and to see this team celebrating a West Regional title in March.
Kansas. So far, the best team in the nation. And it isn't really that close. There are plenty of teams that have had impressive performances this season and have looked capable of maybe being the best team in the nation. But the Jayhawks are the ones that put it out there every night. The pieces are in place for this team to own the season. All 5 starters return, the bit players are playing their roles -- and Xavier Henry is the best freshman in the country not named John Wall. Wall has the flash because of the headlines Kentucky made in the offseason and the coach they hired. But when it is all said and done, it'll be Henry that leads his team to the title. He's working his way into his role now -- but by the end of the year and into March, it'll be Henry that is the leading scorer and THE man in Lawrence. And I expect his emergence and the experience of the rest of the roster to bring another title to Phog Allen Fieldhouse.
2009 NCAA Champion and Tar Heel Legend Tyler Hansbrough Sends It In
Friday, December 11, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Friday Night Droppings
Tar Heels non-conference schedule includes Michigan State, Texas and Kentucky. Hello, freshmen. Welcome to Chapel Hill.
How about Rick Pitino? I mean, I don't agree with the broad trying to extort him, she should not escape from this with any dignity. But the dude is clearly a scumbag, and I wouldn't want my kid playing for him. My illegitimate child is NOT WALKING THROUGH THAT DOOR!
Leaning toward Jones-Drew with 2nd overall pick.
I don't see how the Raiders avoid another double-digit loss total this season. Their schedule is loaded. How does a team as bad as the Raiders still have to go on the road to play the Steelers, Giants, Cowboys and even the Texans? Trouble looms.
It has got to be absolutely demoralizing for the rest of the PGA TOUR when Tiger Woods is playing like this. Whatever you do... it just doesn't matter.
If Duke is the 5th-best team in the nation next year, like Dickie V is predicting, then there will only be 4 good college hoops teams this season. And I don't think that's gonna be the case.
Sometimes I don't understand people. I'm out of it in my fantasy baseball keeper league. The winner of the league gets about $650. I offered one of the contending teams Prince Fielder, Jose Valverde, Nelson Cruz, Joba Chamberlain and Ted Lilly for his first and 6th round picks next year, and I was told no, because he didn't want to forfeit next year. Really? Your 1st and 6th rounders next year are more valuable to you than $650? That makes no fuckin' sense.
Who is going to be taking over at Connecticut when Jim Calhoun retires? How about Syracuse? I know these guys have career-long assistants that have been waiting in the wings, but I don't know. If those guys were really that good, wouldn't they have become head coaches by now?
The Red Sox had one of those "they never should have won that game" wins tonight. For whatEVER the reason, Francona put Clay Buchholz in to pinch run for Jason Varitek in the 9th inning. Buchholz is the tying run with one out at second base. Dustin Pedroia doubles off the wall in left. And Buchholz gets thrown out at home -- like he's on my softball team or something. How in the HELL do you get thrown out at home on a double off the wall when you start the play at 2nd base??? There is literally no excuse. Oh yeah, except for this one: "I'm an AL starting pitcher and for some reason, my manager put me in to pinch run." Francona needs to elevate his game, people. His decision to pitch to Evan Longoria a couple weeks ago in Tampa was equally stupid. On this night, however, Victor Martinez bailed him out.
Tropic Thunder just started. And I'm probably going to watch the whole thing. The Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. trailers at the beginning just suck me in. "Don't worry Brooklyn. You got plenty o' years of fuckin' ahead of you."
I think Michael Vick is going to have one huge play for the Eagles this year. And if Donovan McNabb gets hurt in Week 8, Vick will be under the biggest microscope in NFL history. And this is not a good thing for him. Or for Eagles fans.
That said, the animal rights groups that knock the Eagles for this signing can just go right to hell. The guy did his time. Now shut the hell up and let him earn a living. PETA complained 2 years ago that he should be prosecuted. He was prosecuted. They complain that he should be convicted and sent to prison. He was convicted and went to prison. They want him suspended from the NFL. The NFL suspends him for an additional 6 games after his 2-year incarceration. At what point does the general public start recognizing PETA as a terrorist organization?? I say now. So according to these do-gooders, nobody on Earth deserves a second chance after they commit a crime and serve time for it? Time to shut up and be happy with the punishment, PETA. You've got everything you've asked for so far.
There are two words for people who keep complaining despite the fact that they keep getting what they want. One is INFANT. The other is SHITHEAD. And PETA acts like both on a consistent basis.
The more it looks like the Red Sox could play the Angels in the ALDS, the more I want to start looking into ALCS Game 3 tickets.
Seeing Kenny Powers in Tropic Thunder really makes me excited about Season 2 of Eastbound and Down. But first, Curb Your Enthusiasm makes its return. Its been a bad run for HBO since the Sopranos went away. They need a strong return from Larry David. Hung has just been ok, and I'm not sure I'm sticking with it.
Haha... Jack. Stupid-ass Jack. Never go full retard.
How about Rick Pitino? I mean, I don't agree with the broad trying to extort him, she should not escape from this with any dignity. But the dude is clearly a scumbag, and I wouldn't want my kid playing for him. My illegitimate child is NOT WALKING THROUGH THAT DOOR!
Leaning toward Jones-Drew with 2nd overall pick.
I don't see how the Raiders avoid another double-digit loss total this season. Their schedule is loaded. How does a team as bad as the Raiders still have to go on the road to play the Steelers, Giants, Cowboys and even the Texans? Trouble looms.
It has got to be absolutely demoralizing for the rest of the PGA TOUR when Tiger Woods is playing like this. Whatever you do... it just doesn't matter.
If Duke is the 5th-best team in the nation next year, like Dickie V is predicting, then there will only be 4 good college hoops teams this season. And I don't think that's gonna be the case.
Sometimes I don't understand people. I'm out of it in my fantasy baseball keeper league. The winner of the league gets about $650. I offered one of the contending teams Prince Fielder, Jose Valverde, Nelson Cruz, Joba Chamberlain and Ted Lilly for his first and 6th round picks next year, and I was told no, because he didn't want to forfeit next year. Really? Your 1st and 6th rounders next year are more valuable to you than $650? That makes no fuckin' sense.
Who is going to be taking over at Connecticut when Jim Calhoun retires? How about Syracuse? I know these guys have career-long assistants that have been waiting in the wings, but I don't know. If those guys were really that good, wouldn't they have become head coaches by now?
The Red Sox had one of those "they never should have won that game" wins tonight. For whatEVER the reason, Francona put Clay Buchholz in to pinch run for Jason Varitek in the 9th inning. Buchholz is the tying run with one out at second base. Dustin Pedroia doubles off the wall in left. And Buchholz gets thrown out at home -- like he's on my softball team or something. How in the HELL do you get thrown out at home on a double off the wall when you start the play at 2nd base??? There is literally no excuse. Oh yeah, except for this one: "I'm an AL starting pitcher and for some reason, my manager put me in to pinch run." Francona needs to elevate his game, people. His decision to pitch to Evan Longoria a couple weeks ago in Tampa was equally stupid. On this night, however, Victor Martinez bailed him out.
Tropic Thunder just started. And I'm probably going to watch the whole thing. The Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. trailers at the beginning just suck me in. "Don't worry Brooklyn. You got plenty o' years of fuckin' ahead of you."
I think Michael Vick is going to have one huge play for the Eagles this year. And if Donovan McNabb gets hurt in Week 8, Vick will be under the biggest microscope in NFL history. And this is not a good thing for him. Or for Eagles fans.
That said, the animal rights groups that knock the Eagles for this signing can just go right to hell. The guy did his time. Now shut the hell up and let him earn a living. PETA complained 2 years ago that he should be prosecuted. He was prosecuted. They complain that he should be convicted and sent to prison. He was convicted and went to prison. They want him suspended from the NFL. The NFL suspends him for an additional 6 games after his 2-year incarceration. At what point does the general public start recognizing PETA as a terrorist organization?? I say now. So according to these do-gooders, nobody on Earth deserves a second chance after they commit a crime and serve time for it? Time to shut up and be happy with the punishment, PETA. You've got everything you've asked for so far.
There are two words for people who keep complaining despite the fact that they keep getting what they want. One is INFANT. The other is SHITHEAD. And PETA acts like both on a consistent basis.
The more it looks like the Red Sox could play the Angels in the ALDS, the more I want to start looking into ALCS Game 3 tickets.
Seeing Kenny Powers in Tropic Thunder really makes me excited about Season 2 of Eastbound and Down. But first, Curb Your Enthusiasm makes its return. Its been a bad run for HBO since the Sopranos went away. They need a strong return from Larry David. Hung has just been ok, and I'm not sure I'm sticking with it.
Haha... Jack. Stupid-ass Jack. Never go full retard.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Rays are OK, but They're Still a Pathetic Franchise
The Red Sox are absolutely terrible right now. They swept the Orioles, great. My softball team can compete with the laughable shit Baltimore throws out there on a daily basis. They go into the dingy, disgusting hellhole that is the Tropicana Dome and manage 2 runs on a pair of solo homers, the last of which came leading off the 6th inning. But they lose in 13 innings on a walk-off homer by Evan Longoria, meaning they went 24 outs against the Tampa bullpen without scoring. Jon Lester must want to commit a murder in the clubhouse right now. He's the best 9-7 pitcher in history.
The team goes 7-45 in the game. The bottom 5 in the order went 1-22. 13 innings and only 2 players get multiple-hit games. It is like they all took a collective dump in their pants and are waddling to home plate, swinging like chicks, all the while hoping none of it dribbles down their legs.
And don't even get me started on this facility. A half-full, poorly lit piece of crap dome that for whatever the reason needs to have speakers turned up to "make everyone deaf" volume and needs to play music while the game is being played. There is no worse development in recent sports history than music being played while action unfolding. It is a crutch used by home stadiums when your crowd doesn't know how the hell to properly cheer for your team. Nothing more, nothing less. Commissioners around sports should get together and ban it. I don't give a shit if a group of 38-year old groupies with fake tits and orange skin would rather listen to the latest top 40 hit while they stare at the players. The game -- whether it is basketball or baseball -- doesn't need these people. I'd rather be entertained by music between innings and during timeouts and be able to watch a game while it is going on. And Tampa, take those cowbells and shove 'em up your collective asses. It is even more mindless than those retarded thundersticks. You are all such losers.
You might wonder, well, aren't the Rays good enough to receive some of the credit for holding the Red Sox off in this game? The answer is no. Those frauds left the bases loaded with nobody out in the 8th inning and the 10th inning. The only guy who did anything was Longoria, who ought to send Terry Francona one of his groupies for pitching to him in the 13th inning with 2 outs and a runner on 3rd base.
It has become a popular opinion to think that these 'scrappy' Rays toiled in the cellar of the AL East for all this time and learned how to become a winning team. And they got in a ton of fights with the Red Sox. So somehow people deem this as 'standing up' to the Red Sox during all that time that they sucked ass and got in fights. You know what it was? A bunch of shitty players who were also punk bitches. That's all. Pedro hit a guy in the first inning and the lunatic charged the mound. Brian Daubach protected Pedro during that fight, so Roberto "Career Loser" Hernandez decided he was going to throw at Daubach every time he faced him from that point forward. The good players they have now weren't a part of that group of inferior human beings. The only holdovers are Carl Crawford and "Big Game" James Shields (the most undeserved nickname in the history of sports, if not human existence). And Crawford never got directly involved with any of those fights and the only time Shields did anything, he ended up getting punched in the face by a guy named Coco.
Now? They aren't 'scrappy' -- they have good players. The Red Sox should probably drill Longoria at some point on Wednesday and send a message of their own. The problem is, the media would make absurd claims about how the series history is wrought with such 'messages' when in fact, the Red Sox have never sent a message pitch in the direction of a Rays hitter. They've never HAD to, because the franchise has been such an abject failure for the majority of its history. The Rays of the past just THOUGHT messages were being sent. Because they were stupid, inferiority-complex ridden and just generally frustrated because they were so shitty.
Back to the awfulness that was Tuesday night, what the hell was Francona thinking in the 13th inning? I mean, Ben Zobrist was on deck. BEN ZOBRIST. He's had a nice year, but he blows. I'm not saying the Red Sox were going to get him out, but pitching to Longoria in that situation is one of the dumbest things Francona has done all season. The Red Sox just have had their heads firmly lodged up there asses basically since July began.
And what's wrong with Jason Bay? You KNOW you're a pussy if J.D. Drew is playing through an injury and for whatever the reason, you're sitting on your ass in the clubhouse. At least he didn't accept whatever absurd contract offer the Red Sox gave him during the all star break.
Of course tonight, the Yankees beat the incredibly overrated Roy Halladay. Roy Halladay, who routinely throws complete games but loses. What does that mean? He can throw a lot of pitches. Way to go buddy, enjoy your career of losing in Canada. 10 hits, 5 runs, complete game. What other pitcher is allowed to do that? Why has this ass-clown achieved such status? Probably because his team is so bad, they don't really give a shit about anything else.
Anyway, Sox are 1.5 games back of the Yankees and have a game to go in the shithole dome, then 4 in the Bronx. With Brad Penny going on Wednesday, gotta figure 3-3 on this trip would be a success at this point. Can't wait til the Sox get to face Joba. I bet he pumps his fist at some point.
The team goes 7-45 in the game. The bottom 5 in the order went 1-22. 13 innings and only 2 players get multiple-hit games. It is like they all took a collective dump in their pants and are waddling to home plate, swinging like chicks, all the while hoping none of it dribbles down their legs.
And don't even get me started on this facility. A half-full, poorly lit piece of crap dome that for whatever the reason needs to have speakers turned up to "make everyone deaf" volume and needs to play music while the game is being played. There is no worse development in recent sports history than music being played while action unfolding. It is a crutch used by home stadiums when your crowd doesn't know how the hell to properly cheer for your team. Nothing more, nothing less. Commissioners around sports should get together and ban it. I don't give a shit if a group of 38-year old groupies with fake tits and orange skin would rather listen to the latest top 40 hit while they stare at the players. The game -- whether it is basketball or baseball -- doesn't need these people. I'd rather be entertained by music between innings and during timeouts and be able to watch a game while it is going on. And Tampa, take those cowbells and shove 'em up your collective asses. It is even more mindless than those retarded thundersticks. You are all such losers.
You might wonder, well, aren't the Rays good enough to receive some of the credit for holding the Red Sox off in this game? The answer is no. Those frauds left the bases loaded with nobody out in the 8th inning and the 10th inning. The only guy who did anything was Longoria, who ought to send Terry Francona one of his groupies for pitching to him in the 13th inning with 2 outs and a runner on 3rd base.
It has become a popular opinion to think that these 'scrappy' Rays toiled in the cellar of the AL East for all this time and learned how to become a winning team. And they got in a ton of fights with the Red Sox. So somehow people deem this as 'standing up' to the Red Sox during all that time that they sucked ass and got in fights. You know what it was? A bunch of shitty players who were also punk bitches. That's all. Pedro hit a guy in the first inning and the lunatic charged the mound. Brian Daubach protected Pedro during that fight, so Roberto "Career Loser" Hernandez decided he was going to throw at Daubach every time he faced him from that point forward. The good players they have now weren't a part of that group of inferior human beings. The only holdovers are Carl Crawford and "Big Game" James Shields (the most undeserved nickname in the history of sports, if not human existence). And Crawford never got directly involved with any of those fights and the only time Shields did anything, he ended up getting punched in the face by a guy named Coco.
Now? They aren't 'scrappy' -- they have good players. The Red Sox should probably drill Longoria at some point on Wednesday and send a message of their own. The problem is, the media would make absurd claims about how the series history is wrought with such 'messages' when in fact, the Red Sox have never sent a message pitch in the direction of a Rays hitter. They've never HAD to, because the franchise has been such an abject failure for the majority of its history. The Rays of the past just THOUGHT messages were being sent. Because they were stupid, inferiority-complex ridden and just generally frustrated because they were so shitty.
Back to the awfulness that was Tuesday night, what the hell was Francona thinking in the 13th inning? I mean, Ben Zobrist was on deck. BEN ZOBRIST. He's had a nice year, but he blows. I'm not saying the Red Sox were going to get him out, but pitching to Longoria in that situation is one of the dumbest things Francona has done all season. The Red Sox just have had their heads firmly lodged up there asses basically since July began.
And what's wrong with Jason Bay? You KNOW you're a pussy if J.D. Drew is playing through an injury and for whatever the reason, you're sitting on your ass in the clubhouse. At least he didn't accept whatever absurd contract offer the Red Sox gave him during the all star break.
Of course tonight, the Yankees beat the incredibly overrated Roy Halladay. Roy Halladay, who routinely throws complete games but loses. What does that mean? He can throw a lot of pitches. Way to go buddy, enjoy your career of losing in Canada. 10 hits, 5 runs, complete game. What other pitcher is allowed to do that? Why has this ass-clown achieved such status? Probably because his team is so bad, they don't really give a shit about anything else.
Anyway, Sox are 1.5 games back of the Yankees and have a game to go in the shithole dome, then 4 in the Bronx. With Brad Penny going on Wednesday, gotta figure 3-3 on this trip would be a success at this point. Can't wait til the Sox get to face Joba. I bet he pumps his fist at some point.
Friday, July 24, 2009
The Dog Days
July is almost over and football season is closing in. But for now, it is just baseball. Which I have no problem with. Some random thoughts as we're a week away from the trade deadline...
* I'm a Red Sox fan and I'm supposed to hate the Yankees. And I do. But there hasn't been a specific player to raise my hatred level in recent memory like Joba Chamberlain has done. The guy just smells like a total punk. On Friday night, he out-did himself... doing his absurd fist pump and primal scream after recording a strikeout to end an inning. The fifth inning. Against the last-place A's. On July 24th. Take it easy man. I can't believe I'm saying this, but act like a Yankee.
* The Red Sox apparently put on a full court press to sign Jason Bay to an extension during the All-Star break. And I like Bay, he's a nice player. But give me Matt Holliday during the offseason, please.
* It makes me laugh that there is a soft core porn on Cinemax that is called "The Davinci Coed" -- and my cable provider accidentally gives the description for the Tom Hanks movie when I press the info button on my remote.
* The Phillies are downright insane if they don't trade J.A. Happ and 2 minor leaguers for Roy Halladay.
* That said, I've always thought Halladay was overrated, and I still do.
* Clayton Kershaw is just like Jon Lester in his first couple of years. Hard-throwing lefty, has trouble keeping his pitch count down. The kid is going to be great.
* Speaking of which, I don't see how the Dodgers aren't making it to the World Series this year. And I think they'll be playing the Red Sox. And when they arrive at Fenway for Game 1, Manny is definitely going to report to the home clubhouse.
* My prediction for 2009 season awards? AL MVP and Cy Young will be Teixeira and Beckett. NL will be Pujols (shocker) and Dan Haren. But Ryan Howard will make it closer than it should be for the MVP race.
* I think Jonathan Papelbon will be saving games for another team in 2011. And Daniel Bard will make it easier on us.
* If the Red Sox don't win the division, but it means they get to play the Angels in the ALDS... well, I'll take it. And I'll see you in the ALCS.
* Several months ago, I went on a book-buying binge because I wanted to read more biographies on famous figures. I have a stack in my room of biographies on John Lennon, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Bob Knight, Slash, Eric Clapton and a historical book on D-Day -- in that order. To this point, I have learned about John Lennon's early childhood. This is what happens during baseball season and your team has a game EVERY night.
* I think I really, really want college basketball schedules to start coming out.
* I have the 2nd pick in my fantasy football draft and I have absolutely no freaking idea who to pick. I want to be bold enough to pick Maurice Jones-Drew, but I'm not sure if I have the guts to do it.
* Julio Lugo got traded. It was a glorious day. Then he went and homered and tripled in his first game with the Cardinals. I hope this gets Cardinals fans hopes up. Then they can soon learn to hate him like I do once he begins failing on a regular basis. Except the Red Sox will be paying him, not the Cardinals. So actually, Cardinals fans won't care that much at all.
* When you're just sitting around and using the computer, you can't go wrong at all when Superbad, Knocked Up or Forgetting Sarah Marshall is on. And if none of those is on, just put on a Pink Floyd album and you're good to go.
* Did I mention that when Joba Chamberlain struck out an A's batter to end the fifth inning of a game in July, he acted like he had just made a touchdown-saving tackle on the last play of the Super Bowl? What a little bitch.
* Speaking of the Super Bowl, are you as excited for another season of Raiders football as I am? Now that the Celtics are good again, the Raiders are the only one of my favorite teams I don't expect anything from. And I can't figure out if that's good or bad. But I'm pretty sure it is bad.
* I know Papelbon pumps his fist a little bit too much, so I'm not being a total hypocrite here... but at least Papelbon's inning-ending fist pumps sew up a win. Plus, he delivers in October. Pitchers who regularly deliver in October have earned the right to get excited in less-than-special situations.
* If Florida is laying 50 points vs Tennessee in September, I think I'm still putting at least $100 on the Gators, just so I can celebrate it when they win 66-7. And I want Lane Kiffin to cry. Or at least get punched in the face by somebody. I don't ask for much, but Lane Kiffin failing spectacularly at Tennessee would make me very happy.
* And speaking of punching in the face, some of my co-workers and I have batted around this idea: who are the four faces on your Mount Punchmore? That is, which four sports figures would you most like to punch square in the face? I think mine has Mike Krzyzewski, Tom Brady, Mike Shanahan and J.J. Redick on it. But I reserve the right to change it. In fact, that just might be the subject of my next post...
* I'm a Red Sox fan and I'm supposed to hate the Yankees. And I do. But there hasn't been a specific player to raise my hatred level in recent memory like Joba Chamberlain has done. The guy just smells like a total punk. On Friday night, he out-did himself... doing his absurd fist pump and primal scream after recording a strikeout to end an inning. The fifth inning. Against the last-place A's. On July 24th. Take it easy man. I can't believe I'm saying this, but act like a Yankee.
* The Red Sox apparently put on a full court press to sign Jason Bay to an extension during the All-Star break. And I like Bay, he's a nice player. But give me Matt Holliday during the offseason, please.
* It makes me laugh that there is a soft core porn on Cinemax that is called "The Davinci Coed" -- and my cable provider accidentally gives the description for the Tom Hanks movie when I press the info button on my remote.
* The Phillies are downright insane if they don't trade J.A. Happ and 2 minor leaguers for Roy Halladay.
* That said, I've always thought Halladay was overrated, and I still do.
* Clayton Kershaw is just like Jon Lester in his first couple of years. Hard-throwing lefty, has trouble keeping his pitch count down. The kid is going to be great.
* Speaking of which, I don't see how the Dodgers aren't making it to the World Series this year. And I think they'll be playing the Red Sox. And when they arrive at Fenway for Game 1, Manny is definitely going to report to the home clubhouse.
* My prediction for 2009 season awards? AL MVP and Cy Young will be Teixeira and Beckett. NL will be Pujols (shocker) and Dan Haren. But Ryan Howard will make it closer than it should be for the MVP race.
* I think Jonathan Papelbon will be saving games for another team in 2011. And Daniel Bard will make it easier on us.
* If the Red Sox don't win the division, but it means they get to play the Angels in the ALDS... well, I'll take it. And I'll see you in the ALCS.
* Several months ago, I went on a book-buying binge because I wanted to read more biographies on famous figures. I have a stack in my room of biographies on John Lennon, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Bob Knight, Slash, Eric Clapton and a historical book on D-Day -- in that order. To this point, I have learned about John Lennon's early childhood. This is what happens during baseball season and your team has a game EVERY night.
* I think I really, really want college basketball schedules to start coming out.
* I have the 2nd pick in my fantasy football draft and I have absolutely no freaking idea who to pick. I want to be bold enough to pick Maurice Jones-Drew, but I'm not sure if I have the guts to do it.
* Julio Lugo got traded. It was a glorious day. Then he went and homered and tripled in his first game with the Cardinals. I hope this gets Cardinals fans hopes up. Then they can soon learn to hate him like I do once he begins failing on a regular basis. Except the Red Sox will be paying him, not the Cardinals. So actually, Cardinals fans won't care that much at all.
* When you're just sitting around and using the computer, you can't go wrong at all when Superbad, Knocked Up or Forgetting Sarah Marshall is on. And if none of those is on, just put on a Pink Floyd album and you're good to go.
* Did I mention that when Joba Chamberlain struck out an A's batter to end the fifth inning of a game in July, he acted like he had just made a touchdown-saving tackle on the last play of the Super Bowl? What a little bitch.
* Speaking of the Super Bowl, are you as excited for another season of Raiders football as I am? Now that the Celtics are good again, the Raiders are the only one of my favorite teams I don't expect anything from. And I can't figure out if that's good or bad. But I'm pretty sure it is bad.
* I know Papelbon pumps his fist a little bit too much, so I'm not being a total hypocrite here... but at least Papelbon's inning-ending fist pumps sew up a win. Plus, he delivers in October. Pitchers who regularly deliver in October have earned the right to get excited in less-than-special situations.
* If Florida is laying 50 points vs Tennessee in September, I think I'm still putting at least $100 on the Gators, just so I can celebrate it when they win 66-7. And I want Lane Kiffin to cry. Or at least get punched in the face by somebody. I don't ask for much, but Lane Kiffin failing spectacularly at Tennessee would make me very happy.
* And speaking of punching in the face, some of my co-workers and I have batted around this idea: who are the four faces on your Mount Punchmore? That is, which four sports figures would you most like to punch square in the face? I think mine has Mike Krzyzewski, Tom Brady, Mike Shanahan and J.J. Redick on it. But I reserve the right to change it. In fact, that just might be the subject of my next post...
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
NBA Draft Time - Five on Five
The NBA Draft is upon us, and rather than doing a Mock Draft, I'm going to give my quick opinions on who will get drafted too high and who will be drafted too late. Everybody else, just assume that I believe they'll go in about the spot where they should go. This is a little tougher this season, because the talent pool is so low. But hopefully I speak with a little bit of authority (and intelligence), as I am in a unique position to watch and evaluate a ton of college basketball players. Here's my 5 that'll go too high, and my 5 that will go too low.
TOO HIGH
Stephen Curry. I can't understand why so many people think this guy is going to be a top-8 pick. This kid had a tremendous career playing against some really, truly awful programs. Yeah, he had a nice run in the 2008 NCAA Tournament. A LOT of kids had good runs in that event. And should he be a first round pick? Absolutely. But top 8 (or even top 3, as some mock drafts predict) is pure insanity. Defensively, he won't be able to stop anybody. And that is a liability.
Ricky Rubio. I mean, come on. Every team in need of a point guard is lusting after a guy whose competition is only slightly over Davidson's 2008-09 schedule. Rubio might be good, but not as good as some other point guards in the draft.
B.J. Mullens. A total stiff who disappeared all the time. Wasn't even in the game in crunch time when Ohio State was battling Siena in double overtime in the first round of the tournament. The very definition of soft.
Brandon Jennings. Wow, he's fast. Uh, can he do anything else? I haven't seen it.
Jrue Holliday. This happens every year. A freshman who didn't start at a big school. Great potential. Lots of talent. Then somebody please explain to me why he wasn't playing 34 minutes a game? He also averaged more than 2 turnovers per game while averaging less than 4 assists per game. This is not a good sign for his assertiveness. Which you just might need as a point guard in the NBA.
TOO LOW
Ty Lawson. The best point guard in this draft. In 3 seasons in Chapel Hill, Lawson raised the following averages in each season: scoring, rebounding, FG pct, 3-pt FG pct, assists per game and steals per game. The only number that saw a career low during his final season? Turnovers per game. He was 3rd in the nation in assist-to-turnover ratio in 2008-09, and the fact that Carolina played at such an absurdly fast rate makes this even more impressive. For 3 seasons, he was the fastest player with the ball in all of D-I hoops. If the Knicks and their offensive style of play don't take this guy with the 8th pick, they are certifiable.
Earl Clark. 6'10" guy who does everything right. He's probably not going to make all-star teams. But he's going to do things that help a team win. In a draft that doesn't have too many all-stars in it, a 6'10" swingman with all the intangibles should probably be drafted ahead of at least 3 of the 6 combo guards who will be taken ahead of him. Somebody in the mid teens will get a steal.
Jeff Teague. An actual point guard. Because people haven't jumped on board means this guy will drop nearly to the 20th spot. This kid has incredible skills. He erupted in some of the biggest games Wake played this season. Turns it over a bit too often, but that can be corrected. This kid has the ability to be a poor man's Chris Paul -- and nobody's paying any attention to him. If he's there for the Hawks at 19, they should take about 1.9 seconds to write down his name and hand it to Stern.
Sam Young. This Pittsburgh product gets dissed because he is 24 years old. You know what else he is? A completely talented, well-rounded and athletic player who can help a team immediately. Who cares if he is 24? When did GM's around the NBA start caring if maybe a guy could be good when given 4 years to grow? Aren't you paying him to produce in the meantime? Sam Young will help a really good team if he gets drafted late in the first round. And if he lasts until early in the 2nd round, he'll be one of the best players on a really lousy team.
Wayne Ellington. The best pure shooter in the draft aside from Curry (hey, I didn't say Curry can't shoot. He just can't do anything else. J.J. Redick can shoot). Back to Ellington. He's going to be drafted in the mid twenties at best. I mean, no team says to themselves, "you know what? Let's not take a player based on 'potential' this time around. We've been doing that for years and we haven't won a playoff series since the Reagan administration. Let's just draft a player we know is polished and will help us improve. He may not be ticketed for super stardom. But he can shoot, and we need guys who can make shots." Sixers, Suns, Jazz, Hornets, Mavericks... I'm looking in your direction to do the right thing here.
BONUS BUST PICK
Gerald Henderson. Hey, remember when Gerald Henderson asserted himself in a big game? Neither do I. Good luck to whoever takes this guy in the lottery. You just got Rudy Gay without the height or explosiveness. He shot 11-44 from the floor in the NCAA Tournament as the "star" player for a 2 seed. Another Coack K monster NBA talent.
TOO HIGH
Stephen Curry. I can't understand why so many people think this guy is going to be a top-8 pick. This kid had a tremendous career playing against some really, truly awful programs. Yeah, he had a nice run in the 2008 NCAA Tournament. A LOT of kids had good runs in that event. And should he be a first round pick? Absolutely. But top 8 (or even top 3, as some mock drafts predict) is pure insanity. Defensively, he won't be able to stop anybody. And that is a liability.
Ricky Rubio. I mean, come on. Every team in need of a point guard is lusting after a guy whose competition is only slightly over Davidson's 2008-09 schedule. Rubio might be good, but not as good as some other point guards in the draft.
B.J. Mullens. A total stiff who disappeared all the time. Wasn't even in the game in crunch time when Ohio State was battling Siena in double overtime in the first round of the tournament. The very definition of soft.
Brandon Jennings. Wow, he's fast. Uh, can he do anything else? I haven't seen it.
Jrue Holliday. This happens every year. A freshman who didn't start at a big school. Great potential. Lots of talent. Then somebody please explain to me why he wasn't playing 34 minutes a game? He also averaged more than 2 turnovers per game while averaging less than 4 assists per game. This is not a good sign for his assertiveness. Which you just might need as a point guard in the NBA.
TOO LOW
Ty Lawson. The best point guard in this draft. In 3 seasons in Chapel Hill, Lawson raised the following averages in each season: scoring, rebounding, FG pct, 3-pt FG pct, assists per game and steals per game. The only number that saw a career low during his final season? Turnovers per game. He was 3rd in the nation in assist-to-turnover ratio in 2008-09, and the fact that Carolina played at such an absurdly fast rate makes this even more impressive. For 3 seasons, he was the fastest player with the ball in all of D-I hoops. If the Knicks and their offensive style of play don't take this guy with the 8th pick, they are certifiable.
Earl Clark. 6'10" guy who does everything right. He's probably not going to make all-star teams. But he's going to do things that help a team win. In a draft that doesn't have too many all-stars in it, a 6'10" swingman with all the intangibles should probably be drafted ahead of at least 3 of the 6 combo guards who will be taken ahead of him. Somebody in the mid teens will get a steal.
Jeff Teague. An actual point guard. Because people haven't jumped on board means this guy will drop nearly to the 20th spot. This kid has incredible skills. He erupted in some of the biggest games Wake played this season. Turns it over a bit too often, but that can be corrected. This kid has the ability to be a poor man's Chris Paul -- and nobody's paying any attention to him. If he's there for the Hawks at 19, they should take about 1.9 seconds to write down his name and hand it to Stern.
Sam Young. This Pittsburgh product gets dissed because he is 24 years old. You know what else he is? A completely talented, well-rounded and athletic player who can help a team immediately. Who cares if he is 24? When did GM's around the NBA start caring if maybe a guy could be good when given 4 years to grow? Aren't you paying him to produce in the meantime? Sam Young will help a really good team if he gets drafted late in the first round. And if he lasts until early in the 2nd round, he'll be one of the best players on a really lousy team.
Wayne Ellington. The best pure shooter in the draft aside from Curry (hey, I didn't say Curry can't shoot. He just can't do anything else. J.J. Redick can shoot). Back to Ellington. He's going to be drafted in the mid twenties at best. I mean, no team says to themselves, "you know what? Let's not take a player based on 'potential' this time around. We've been doing that for years and we haven't won a playoff series since the Reagan administration. Let's just draft a player we know is polished and will help us improve. He may not be ticketed for super stardom. But he can shoot, and we need guys who can make shots." Sixers, Suns, Jazz, Hornets, Mavericks... I'm looking in your direction to do the right thing here.
BONUS BUST PICK
Gerald Henderson. Hey, remember when Gerald Henderson asserted himself in a big game? Neither do I. Good luck to whoever takes this guy in the lottery. You just got Rudy Gay without the height or explosiveness. He shot 11-44 from the floor in the NCAA Tournament as the "star" player for a 2 seed. Another Coack K monster NBA talent.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Corn-Julio
Usually, when you root for a team that you've loved your whole life, you embrace every player to the point that you have absurd expectations for him. Like, how I think that next year, Marcus Ginyard is going to be the senior leader the Tar Heels need to lead the youthful UNC squad to back-to-back titles. Or how I think JaMarcus Russell is going to one day be a Pro Bowler once the Raiders surround him with at least 2 good offensive football players. Or how Jacoby Ellsbury is going to become the best leadoff hitter since Rickey Henderson. Point is... I have unrealistic expactations based on soley on the fact that Player X is on my favorite team. And I am going to love every one of those players because they are on my team.
What am I getting at? There is one exception to this rule, and frankly, I never really thought this would happen. But Julio Lugo has put himself at an entirely new level when it comes to my life as a sports fan.
This guy is so bad that he literally makes me think about how much money he makes and how it directly relates to how insanely bad he is. A lot of players don't live up to their contracts, I get it. But... this clown is in his 3rd year of a $36 million deal. That means he makes $9M per year to absolutely SUCK at his job. If I blew so thoroughly at my job and make $9M a year, I would put myself in jail. In fact, if I made $500K per year and was that bad, I'd be miserable.
Lugo isn't the only one at fault here. The Red Sox front office made the mistake of giving him this contract. And it is EASILY Theo's worst signing as GM. But let's be honest. Lugo should do the honorably thing and just kill himself. Or at the very least, retire from baseball right now with a bank account flush with $20+ million of Red Sox money and just enjoy life. It cannot possibly be pleasant to be booed all the time and so hated by such a passionate fan base.
Seriously, if you were going to work every day and:
A) Sucking at it
B) Being booed mercilessly by 35,000+ people
C) Splitting time with a guy named Nick Green
PLUS
D) Were already in possession of $20+ million
Wouldn't you just stop going to that job for the rest of your life? Aren't you at the point where you can just slink away and never be seen again? Am I crazy??? If the guy makes a flawless play in the field, I am literally in shock. He is an error machine.
Just retire with your stolen money, you no-glove loser. I have supported and rooted for every Red Sox player in my lifetime. But when Julio Lugo is involved, the only thing more difficult than cheering for him is imagining that he may actually be successful. In other words, I hate the guy. Time to go away. I can't wait for Jed Lowrie to get back.
Monday, April 27, 2009
The NBA... Where Changing the Channel Happens
I don't know when it happened for me -- I think it was about the time Jordan retired -- but the NBA just doesn't do a thing for me as a fan anymore. I will certainly watch my team (the Celtics) play games, and I loved the run they went on the the playoffs last year, as it was a return to glory... but, and I can't stress this enough, I cannot remember the last time I watched a full, non-Celtics NBA game from tip to final buzzer. I can honestly say it has been years. And yes, that's plural.
Here are some of the reasons why:
It isn't fair. Good players get calls. Bad players (and rookies) don't. At what point did your age and/or experience level exclude you from the rules of basketball? Since LeBron James is a great player, he doesn't get called for an obvious travel. Kobe gets looked at the wrong way, and next thing you know he's on the foul line. Dwyane Wade throws himself into traffic and you know some backup power forward is picking up another foul. I hate it when an announcer says, "it'll be a few years before he starts getting those calls." Why?? The rules will change then? I hate it.
Tattoos. Too many of them. I know you can't control it as a league. I understand people can do what they want with their own bodies. But all I can think of is going to games with my dad when I was a nine-year old kid, asking him all kinds of questions about the game. If the players back then were as heavily inked as they are now, I would have said, "Dad, why does that player have all that stuff on his skin?" And God bless him, my dad would have said, "Well son, its because he's a fucking idiot." And that would have been that. A couple of tattoos is great. We get it, you're rebellious, or you are trying to honor one of your friends that got shot or something. But it is unnatural. Chris Anderson can't even put "white" as his race anymore. He has to go with "multi-colored." And what is the purpose of a neck tattoo?!? And Stephon Marbury has a star on the side of his head. That means these two incredible absurdities have happened in his life:
1) Stephon Marbury actually thought to himself, "I'm going to get a star tattooed on my head."
2) And at some point, a family member had to pose this uncomfortable question, "Uhhhh... did you get a tattoo of a star on your HEAD?!?!"
Timeouts. In that there are WAY TOO MANY OF THEM. In close games, teams save their timeouts so they can advance the ball to halfcourt after the other team scores. This leads to the final minute of close games taking roughly as long as The Godfather. Except for in the Godfather, you aren't able to go take a dump because you know a 4-minute commercial break is going to happen. I was meeting friends out at a bar last weekend, but was late because the Celtics vs Bulls was close. I was probably going to get there on time, but the game got tight. There were about 4 timeouts called in the last 12 seconds of regulation, and I ended up being 30 minutes late. This should not be happening.
The officials. I know this goes with my first topic, but I'm reiterating my point. They suck. They are so terrible at everything they are supposed to be good at. STOP SUCKING. Seriously. Call the game by the rules, and the product will be much better. The lack of following the rules of basketball by the officials makes the NBA totally unwatchable.
The players who cry about calls. And by this, I mean every single player in the NBA. Why would you complain when it is so obvious that the officials suck so bad? Just accept it. In Game 1 of Bulls vs Celtics, Glen Davis was called for his 6th foul, and he was WATCHING a play happen. But he is so used to being beaten down by shitty officiating, he didn't even put up a fight. Big Baby knows -- the officials suck. And if LeBron, Kobe, or Wade ever complain about a call, they should be suspended for 5 games. End of story.
Blowouts. Listen, they're gonna happen. But I just saw a final score saying that the Nuggets beat the Hornets 121-63 -- ON THE ROAD. There is absolutely no chance that this should happen -ever. Needless to say I wasn't watching that putrid performance, but I promise you what happened was the Nuggets took an early 20-point lead and the Hornets just gave up. After scoring 15 points in the 1st quarter, the Hornets rallied for 24 in the 2nd quarter. They must have really liked that number, because they manged to score exactly 24 points in the ENTIRE SECOND HALF. You guys gave up. But don't worry, ticket prices on StubHub were only up to $310 apiece for the nosebleeds. You gave your fans their money's worth, losers. The Hornets organization should give out refunds for that game. I'd love to call customer service and hear their excuse as to why they can't return my money for that mess.
Anyway, I'm logging off to watch the real playoffs. Stanley Cup version. Here, the players try hard all the time. They also grow playoff beards, a lot easier to remove than a dumb tattoo. And it is also entirely possible that the refs call the game the same for Alex Ovechkin as they do for some guy I've never heard of.
Here are some of the reasons why:
It isn't fair. Good players get calls. Bad players (and rookies) don't. At what point did your age and/or experience level exclude you from the rules of basketball? Since LeBron James is a great player, he doesn't get called for an obvious travel. Kobe gets looked at the wrong way, and next thing you know he's on the foul line. Dwyane Wade throws himself into traffic and you know some backup power forward is picking up another foul. I hate it when an announcer says, "it'll be a few years before he starts getting those calls." Why?? The rules will change then? I hate it.
Tattoos. Too many of them. I know you can't control it as a league. I understand people can do what they want with their own bodies. But all I can think of is going to games with my dad when I was a nine-year old kid, asking him all kinds of questions about the game. If the players back then were as heavily inked as they are now, I would have said, "Dad, why does that player have all that stuff on his skin?" And God bless him, my dad would have said, "Well son, its because he's a fucking idiot." And that would have been that. A couple of tattoos is great. We get it, you're rebellious, or you are trying to honor one of your friends that got shot or something. But it is unnatural. Chris Anderson can't even put "white" as his race anymore. He has to go with "multi-colored." And what is the purpose of a neck tattoo?!? And Stephon Marbury has a star on the side of his head. That means these two incredible absurdities have happened in his life:
1) Stephon Marbury actually thought to himself, "I'm going to get a star tattooed on my head."
2) And at some point, a family member had to pose this uncomfortable question, "Uhhhh... did you get a tattoo of a star on your HEAD?!?!"
Timeouts. In that there are WAY TOO MANY OF THEM. In close games, teams save their timeouts so they can advance the ball to halfcourt after the other team scores. This leads to the final minute of close games taking roughly as long as The Godfather. Except for in the Godfather, you aren't able to go take a dump because you know a 4-minute commercial break is going to happen. I was meeting friends out at a bar last weekend, but was late because the Celtics vs Bulls was close. I was probably going to get there on time, but the game got tight. There were about 4 timeouts called in the last 12 seconds of regulation, and I ended up being 30 minutes late. This should not be happening.
The officials. I know this goes with my first topic, but I'm reiterating my point. They suck. They are so terrible at everything they are supposed to be good at. STOP SUCKING. Seriously. Call the game by the rules, and the product will be much better. The lack of following the rules of basketball by the officials makes the NBA totally unwatchable.
The players who cry about calls. And by this, I mean every single player in the NBA. Why would you complain when it is so obvious that the officials suck so bad? Just accept it. In Game 1 of Bulls vs Celtics, Glen Davis was called for his 6th foul, and he was WATCHING a play happen. But he is so used to being beaten down by shitty officiating, he didn't even put up a fight. Big Baby knows -- the officials suck. And if LeBron, Kobe, or Wade ever complain about a call, they should be suspended for 5 games. End of story.
Blowouts. Listen, they're gonna happen. But I just saw a final score saying that the Nuggets beat the Hornets 121-63 -- ON THE ROAD. There is absolutely no chance that this should happen -ever. Needless to say I wasn't watching that putrid performance, but I promise you what happened was the Nuggets took an early 20-point lead and the Hornets just gave up. After scoring 15 points in the 1st quarter, the Hornets rallied for 24 in the 2nd quarter. They must have really liked that number, because they manged to score exactly 24 points in the ENTIRE SECOND HALF. You guys gave up. But don't worry, ticket prices on StubHub were only up to $310 apiece for the nosebleeds. You gave your fans their money's worth, losers. The Hornets organization should give out refunds for that game. I'd love to call customer service and hear their excuse as to why they can't return my money for that mess.
Anyway, I'm logging off to watch the real playoffs. Stanley Cup version. Here, the players try hard all the time. They also grow playoff beards, a lot easier to remove than a dumb tattoo. And it is also entirely possible that the refs call the game the same for Alex Ovechkin as they do for some guy I've never heard of.
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